Looks can be deceptive

This is not one of those numerous posts about genealogy. Actually, it is in a way, although I will try to put a different slant on it - even though you might want to skip to the end to see the slanty bit...


The photo that you see here was given to me by my grandmother just before she died (or "passed away after a long fight against illness" as they would say on the BBC if she was a celebrity). I have this picture on the wall at home and every day I look at it wishing I had more than a few scant details about it.

Like the words in "A Brian Dialogue", the image comes from a different era. Apparently, in Victorian days, people were told not to smile while photographs were taken. I assume this is why they look so serious, otherwise, I wouldn't fancy going round to their place for a beer and curry to watch the rugby world cup.

So here is what I do know about the faces behind the picture:

The lady to the bottom left is my grandmother's aunty (who apparently looks like me), and her, I knew: she lived over the road from us. When I was young , my parents deemed me mature enough to leave me on my own while they went somewhere or other (the shops I think, rather than a 2 week holiday). My parents thought they had me fooled by hiding the "Breakaway" biscuits on the top shelf of the kitchen cupboard. Oh, the fools: a chair to stand on was all that was needed to reach up and sneak one. Unfortunately, my family are not known for their DIY skills (a tradition I uphold), and as I held onto the cupboard for balance, it came off the wall and landed on top of me. This, of course, as a small child, alone in the house, posed a bit of a problem - especially as the bottle of beetroot fell on top of me and smashed, giving the impression of me having been involved in a serious car crash. My solution was to cross the road to "Aunty Mary's" house, covered in beetroot juice. After her initial panic (she was already an old lady) she helped me clean up the mess and explain it away to my parents. Problem solved. Great lady.

Mary never married, and lived all her adult life with her brother (one of the guys at the back). The other guy at the back is called Sam, and is recorded in the 1901 population census as a "coal porter". Perhaps life would have been different if he had been Cole Porter rather than the guy who carried the sacks from the cart to the coal cellars (does anyone remember them? All the houses in my parents street have a (now filled in) space where the coal was poured when the coal-man delivered).

Here's the slant; I hope it was worth waiting for:

The matriarch in the centre of the photo fascinates me and I look at her each time I pass. Frankly, she looks extremely austere and a bit scary. She is my great, great grandmother. However, the two fascinating details about her are:

1. She married twice (I don't know how common this was at the end of the 19th century), outliving two husbands (maybe they died in a war, or maybe after a "long fight against illness"). What you see is therefore a re-constructed family.
   
2. She adopted one of the young boys in the photograph. All I know is that his nickname was Jub. What makes me sad is that I don't know why she adopted him and I know that I never will.

However, it pleases me to think that it could have been an act of pure kindness on her part that is in direct contrast to the image that is presented in the photo.

As the title says: looks can be deceptive.